Just Dump The Bitch

OMG!!! That sounds horrible and the picture makes it worse...lmao! I was having a conversation with my bestest friend, Glam, and we were talking about Dr. FGN. Come to find out he has a "girlfriend". Not really a big deal, because after he laid the smackdown on me, I was certain that some lucky girl was getting that on a regular. But its just strange that he would do that and have a girlfriend. I hope it wasn't just curiosity. I know I'm curious, but if I was in love with someone I really don't think I could cheat for the sake of curiosity. When I told Glam, her exact words were, "well what was he doing over there fucking you?!?"...my stomach was hurting from the laughter that erupted from that comment alone. We discussed it further and then she was saying that it must not be that serious with the girlfriend because he wouldn't have been spending the night at my house (and that was my thought too). Then she said, "just tell him to dump the bitch!"...what a noble concept I thought. I know for a fact that I have been dumped throughout my dating career for some hooker that my then boyfriends were sleeping with. So is it time for me to turn the tables and turn up the heat?

I couldn't believe that I was actually considering doing it. We (Glam and I) laughed about it but I think we both knew that there was a great deal of sincerity in that conversation. Oh, but could I be a straight out home wrecker? I'm not sure about that. I wouldn't mind letting him fuck the shit out of me every now and then because after that night I knew I wanted more. But honestly, he opened up a floodgate of emotions and stirred something deep inside (no pun intended) that I just may be afraid to explore. The other day he expressed some serious feelings towards me and told me that since that night we spent together he has become confused. Sidebar: Why is life so difficult? Why don't things happen at the right time (timing is everything)? Why do we always want what we can't have and don't want what we have???***rant over...feel better now***FUCK!!!! Now since he told me that, I can't stop thinking about him. It has gone far beyond that wonderful encounter we had. Now, I remember every conversation, email, and text, that we ever exchanged. I see his face in my dreams and I even had a hot flash yesterday at work when I was thinking about him...wtf!!! I agreed to let him have some time to "figure things out", so I won't be contacting him because I want to stay true to my word. But then there is a part of me that REALLY wants to call him and tell him to just dump the bitch and come on over here and give it to big mama! Hell, I've known him longer anyway (I think?, I didn't really ask too much about her...lol).

I have to get a hold of myself. I'm gonna wait it out (fingers crossed) and see what he has to say, if anything. And if we talk again I will let him know how I feel then. But if I have a moment of temporary insanity, which happens quite a bit, and breakdown and contact him I will be sure to come here and post about it.