I know, I know, I know...

I need my ass whipped...I can't believe that I have left this blog hanging like this for almost a year and a half. I've been writing but just not online. So I guess that's what's happened. My trusty laptop died on me and I certainly wasn't about to attempt to do this via my phone (and develop carpal tunnel, hell no!) Okay, enough with the excuses. I hate it when people do that to me, so I wont do it to you. So much to tell, updates on some that you've met here already and a couple of new ones to add to the equation. But to date, I am still single in the city and kinda lovin' it. I said that 2010 was going to be a year of adventure and it surely has been. Most of the adventure hasn't been pleasant, but I have learned a lot in the journey so far. But the parts that have been pleasant, were/are almost dream-like. Unfortunately, I have fallen back into my "potty mouth" habit, so please be patient with me as I try to reform, once again, into a good girl...lol.

Damn...I'm sorry...I fell off the face of the Earth apparently

I can't believe that it has been this damn long since I wrote something on here. Hopefully some of you are still around and will check to see that I'm back. This will be short because I am exhausted and that is pretty much the reason that I have been MIA for so long. This economy is so fucked up, I'm stuck in a job that I hate and can't get out like I'd like. Needless to say, sex (and the sex chronicles) have been on the back burner. Ooh, but I have a couple of dates next week, so I might have some juicy stuff to share later...lmao. I hope I'm not too tired from that fucking job...fuck that, these are 2 fine ass men, I'm going out!!! Hope all is well with y'all that stop through....

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Valentine's Day...DAMN...I've been gone a LONG ASS TIME...sorry y'all =)

Sit On My Face

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Happy Halloween My ASS!!!

I fucking hate Halloween. It's just a day of utter stupidity. A day where you can let it all hangout and do whatever and then blame it on "oh, it's a joke, it's Halloween." Miss me with that bullshit...I'll be so glad when this day is over. Yes, the delirious Gemini is out tonight. Actually I think SuperBitch has come out to play. I hope nobody does anything stupid tomorrow, because they are gonna get their ass handed to them...I'm not in the mood!!!

When John Met Tom

Okay so I'm on one this evening...I'm gonna do my first political post. Nothing major, just my nerdy side coming out to play...lol. I'm so excited that the end of this Bush thing is almost here, but so nervous about the aftermath of his term. The new president will have so much "house cleaning" to do, he will need the entire fleet of Molly Maids.

I love Tom Brokaw ***swooning***...I have a pepaw crush on him...He's so hot! This morning on Meet The Press he was joined by none other than John McCain. There were carefully chosen sound bites and polls that McCain clearly didn't want to discuss. I kinda felt sorry for the old man. He was flustered, blinking excessively, and I really felt so sorry for that marker he was holding, taking out his frustrations on that poor writing instrument...smh.

McCain hates when the sound bites are played because he knows there's really no way to backtrack on what he has previously said. He doesn't want to hear the poll results because its like the writing on the wall that no one wants to acknowledge, let alone read. He only wants to try the scare tactic that Obama will raise your taxes. I swear that was his answer to just about every question...it's sickening. No, Mr. McCain, YOU would be the one to continue to raise my taxes. We are already living a nightmare and the people know that with you in office, there may be no end in sight.

"I don't defend her, I don't have to defend her. I praise her", says McCain of Palin...lmao...then he goes into the spiel about her "qualifications". Spare me...then Tom (get him Tiger...grrrr) hit him with the spending spree ($150,000) at Needless Markup (Neiman Marcus, I love to shop there too, but can't anymore...damnit!). He starts explaining and then stops himself and says "it sounds like I'm defending her, but I'm not"...rotflmao. Yes, Mr. McCain...should you happen to win this election (God help us...please don't let this happen) you will spend a good portion of your term "defending" your VP.

I was speaking with one of my friends who is a proud, card-carrying republican. He has confessed that he wants Obama to win. He said he's about ready to turn in his republican card. We have some pretty interesting conversations. I can't wait to talk to him about this mornings MTP. I have been extending an invitation to him to come on over to the Light...lol. I've asked him what he thinks of "his" president...he won't answer. My dear friend, I often ask, why wont you answer me? Has Bushy really screwed it up that bad for you too? Has he embarrassed you too with his mockery of the highest office of the land? Ooooh, have you become financially unstable since his time in office? I'm still waiting for the answers ***looking at my watch***...

I probably wont post any more election stuff until after Wednesday because I gotta check out what Obama has to say that night...

What Does It All Boil Down To?

You know I've been thinking that I've become soft in my old age. I used to have the men knocking my door down, ringing my phone off the hook, and keeping my schedule tied up for weeks at a time. But as I sit back and ponder what am I doing differently, I have found that I am way nicer now than I used to be. In my 20's I didn't give a damn. I used to treat the men really bad, and they would always come back for more. I have no idea what that was about, but if I liked a guy I would treat him bad and he was always right there for more punishment. Now, I am more concerned with how people perceive me (professionally) and I really don't have the energy to pull off the "bitch" routine anymore.

I was on a relationship chat this afternoon and it was more clear to me, that yes, I have matured (thank God) and that a lot of what I want has to do with respect. I have to be respected by the men I choose to deal with. I had a lot more patience back then, but now my tolerance for bullshit is extremely low. Back in the day, the only thing they respected was my pussy. And back then, that was okay with me because it was a mutual thing...respect for sexual skills. Now that I realize that I can have fulfilling sex but no meaningful relationship, I'm not sure I want to travel this road anymore. (Don't worry, I still have a boatload of stories to share for the blog and who knows, I might fall off the nice girl wagon and romp a bit more...lmao)

That shit with Dr. FGN was great don't get me wrong, but after careful thought, I realized that I was more upset because of the friendship that we had shared before we had had sex. Then when I found out he had a girlfriend...mofo...that just did it. He disrespected her and me. I wont label all men, but I will say that "people" will do what you let them get away with. So, I guess what I'm leading to is that we should all want to be respected, whether young or old, single or married, man or woman. I know some of the best relationships that I have been in are the ones where we had a mutual respect for one another. Those were the "boring" relationships that probably wont see the light of day on this blog, but they were great nonetheless.

I believe that when there is a mutual respect for each other, you can feel more at ease giving of yourself mentally, spiritually, and physically. When there is respect you know that the other person holds you in high esteem and should be considerate of you. As you get older, what is it that you desire most in a relationship? I'm curious...please share.

SIDEBAR: I'm sure I can muster up some "bitch", and I was actually thinking about doing an experiment to test the theory...I don't know, I'll keep you posted... =)

Back 2 Back

So here's another one of my proud moments (being sarcastic)...It was a night that involves a guy that I was "dating" and The Singer (from a previous post "Hey, I Know Her"). The guy that I was kinda dating was a bit boring, but he was nice to have around and the sex wasn't that bad. But I was still messing around with The Singer too. All I had to do was call and he would be there. I loved that shit. I guess he liked my company too...lol. Anyway, this particular evening I had called The Singer, but he didn't answer, so I left him a message and told him that I wanted to see him. He didn't call back immediately (which was rare), so I just figured he was in the studio or something. No problem because the other guy had called about an hour later and he wanted to come over and cook for me. So of course, I couldn't resist that.

He came over and cooked for us and we chilled out, ate, and ended up in the bedroom (of course). Just as we were finishing up, I could hear my cell ringing, and ringing, and ringing...Oh shit! It had to be The Singer calling me back. My phone was in the other room, but I have supersonic hearing, plus I was really hoping to see The Singer that night. I didn't know what to do, because how could I rush this guy out of my place after he had just cooked such a good meal and laid it down in the bedroom? Well, I surprised myself that night, because I didn't hesitate
to jump outta bed (after we finished of course) and check my cell. And I was right, it was The Singer calling. In fact, he had called my house phone too. I guess he really wanted some that night. I did too. I called him back and he was on his way to my house. I told him to give me a minute, but he was already near my place. I think he knew I had somebody else there too. I told him that I was gonna jump in the shower because I wanted to be ready for him and if he got there to just wait in the car.

So the other guy (poor thing) had no idea, he was in the bedroom half asleep. I ran in there and told him that I was about to take a shower and that he should join me. How fucking scandalous is that shit, "can you scrub my back so it can be clean for the next man?"...As we were showering my mind was racing, trying to figure out how I was gonna get this dude outta my place and The Singer in without incident...Good dick will make you do some crazy things...damn!!! Apparently, The Singer was knocking at my door when he got there (we were in the shower thank goodness). The next morning my neighbor told me he was banging on my door and she opened her door to see what his problem was...rotflmao...

When we got outta the shower, I called to see where The Singer was, he told me he was in his car. I told him to wait just a few minutes and then he could come up. Man you should have seen me rushing that other dude out. I walked him out and we used the back way, which was great because he was parked there anyway. By the time I got back to my place, The Singer was at my door. He was trying to figure out why I was outside. I told him I was dumping the trash (I really was...had to get rid of those condom wrappers too). He gave me the side eye, but
brought his fine ass in anyway. As soon as I shut the door, he grabbed me and kissed me like he never had before. I was like "damnit!". He also fucked me like he never had before. He was doing some new shit (positions) that we had never tried before. I know he knew somebody was there before him, I just felt it. I guess he wanted to make sure that he out shined the other dude. And believe me, he did. It was a night that I will never forget.

Normally I would just think that any woman who did this (had sex with 2 men in the same night) was just a nasty ass. But I'm finding out that a couple of my friends have done this too. I never told them that I did it, but just laughed at them when they divulged the information. I guess I did it because I wasn't expecting to see The Singer that night. I wasn't really that sexually attracted to the other guy (not repulsed either) so sex with him was not that exciting, but he always made sure I had an orgasm. I guess that's why I kept him around. But The
Singer...oh my goodness...he was "walking sex". We were so sexually compatible and it was just electric when we did what we did. When it came to him, I just got stuck on stupid. So yes, I was a nasty ass for a night. But man that shit was so worth it =) This particular incident was also a prelude to "The Devil's Threesome" which happened several months later.

Couch Talk

I will be having "Couch Talk" from time to time. This is when I am going to post something that I feel warrants some professional counseling. There have been times (NOTE: I don't do this dumb shit anymore) that I have done some things that were completely unsafe, irrational, and just plain stupid. By the grace of God, nothing bad has happened to me. I get caught up in the moment and go with the flow and sometimes things just happen. I must say in my own defense, that my intuition is ALWAYS on point and there have been many times that I passed on some opportunities for "fun" because my intuition lead me away from it. With that said, I will share something that I did during a business trip...

So I was with some co-workers after a long day of conferencing. At the particular hotel we were staying at there also happened to be some other conferences being held and this meant men from different fields of work. A group of young men came over and started talking to our group. I think they were techs or something (something geeky). Any who...we were at the bar (one of my favorite places at a hotel...lol) getting all liquored up. They bought us some drinks and...well you know how that story goes. The one that was talking to me wasn't particularly cute, but he was okay. The more I drank, the cuter he become I guess. He was whispering shit in my ear but I didn't want my co-workers to know that I was thinking of taking him to my room. Yes, I had my own room because the girl that was to room with me backed on family business at the last minute. Lucky me...

We ended up in my room...when I think about this I still can't believe I did it...what a dumbass. So we get in the room and we're kissing and then he goes straight for the panties. The next thing I know he's face down in my crotch...and doing a damn good job if I might add. This dude was good...not the best, but for that night, yeah he was damned good. So he finishes (or should I say I finish...hehehehe) and he looks at me like its time for me to return the favor. Yeah, that's not gonna happen I start to think. I tell him that I have a really early morning and a presentation. I get up and start walking towards the door. He looked very confused and then a little annoyed. I was relieved to see that look instead of rage or worse. He didn't want to leave, but by this point I had already opened the door and was standing almost outside the door just in case he tried anything funny, I could run my stupid ass down the hall. He left with no incident. Whew...just thinking of what could have happened...really scares me now.

This particular incident happened when I was going through a stage where the men in my life had done me so wrong. I went on a "fucking spree". I was calling some of my exes for sex and then I wouldn't talk to them anymore. I wouldn't return phone calls or anything. I don't know where this behavior came from. But it made me feel empowered in a strange kinda way because when I used to date them, they treated me bad. But I guess since some time had passed and I initiated the booty calls, I guess they thought it was on again. NOT...I just wanted to fuck 'em one more time and then tell 'em to fuck off by kicking 'em out when the sex was over and then not talking to 'em anymore. I definitely needed some "couch talk"...

SIDEBAR: I ran into one of these exes this summer. I hadn't seen him in years. He followed me until I decided to pull over and talk to him. Poor thing was STILL confused as to why I hadn't returned any of his emails or phone calls after that one night. I didn't have the heart to tell him he was just a casualty in my silly little love/hate sex game. But he was on that list of men who did me wrong...so I guess he still doesn't deserve an explanation...

The Devil's Threesome

Yes, I got my freak on with two men at the same time. I guess it was the alcohol. I guess it was curiosity. I guess I might need to go "sit on the couch" and discuss some of my behavioral issues with someone. I was 30 years old, single, hot in the pants and needed to be hosed down.

This particular night one of my good friends from childhood was over. He happened to be friends with the guy I kissed all night in college (from a previous post). They came over to visit me. We were drinking and reminiscing about old times. I guess we had too much to drink. The conversation is still fuzzy in my head, but I remember them saying something about me being scary. We started talking shit back and forth and then we got on the subject of sex. I had been having sex with the kissing guy for a while after we graduated. But I hadn't done anything with my childhood friend. I remember thinking that this wasn't right, but some how, some way the three of us ended up in my bedroom.

It was quite interesting to have two men "working" on me at the same time. I was in sensory overload. The kissing guy knew what I liked, so he went for his while my childhood friend was kinda tripping out. Then he started to kiss me too. It was wild. It was fun but very different. I don't believe that I would try it again. And just in case you're wondering, the two men didn't have sex with each other and NO I won't have sex with a woman.

Planes, Chains, and Pedicures

I guess I will bypass some of the insignificant sexual experiences and go right in to my late 20's and early 30's (before I got married). So much to tell. I'll start with my southern gentleman that I met on the job. I will call him Goldie. We met through our respective jobs and one day things got a little personal. I realized that I was beginning to get interested in him. We exchanged numbers and began this long distance love affair. I remember the first time I saw him in person. He was so tall and handsome. He had sent for me to visit for a weekend. Little did we know that this was gonna turn into something very serious.

We saw each other every other weekend and sometimes every weekend. He would fly out to me or I would fly out to him...Delta Airlines really loved us =) And every time, the sex was off the hook. I mean that man was a beast. He could go all day and night. That was some of the best sex I had at that point. I hadn't been with anyone who had so much stamina. I was loving every minute of it too. But as with all good things, that relationship ended. He was a cheater and we had some other things happen in the relationship that we just couldn't work past. It was sad, because I truly loved that man. We were supposed to get married. I still keep in touch with him, but we will never get back together again. He's not the marrying type.

After Goldie there was a police officer that I dated on and off for about a year. Police officers are crazy. I've dated about 3 and my friends have dated some as well. It's a scary kinda crazy too. Maybe because they have those guns and the right to use them...I don't know. But I'm glad that I met him and dated him. He introduced me to the world of bondage and foot fetish. I didn't think I'd be into either, but hey, how can you know if you don't try.

I had heard of this before but didn't really know anything about it. At first I wouldn't let him bind me or anything, but he wanted me to handcuff him, chain him, use a whip and sometimes blindfold him... that shit turned me on. I was like hell yeah, I'll treat you like shit. Doing that took me to a whole other world. I would lose my good girl image and the bad girl was unleashed. I think he liked that too. I guess because he was binding people at work all day he wanted to be bound...I don't know, but I didn't have a problem with it.

But then one day he surprised me with his foot fetish. He would always give me foot massages. I loved that. Really good ones too. But little did I know he had a thing for feet. One night while having sex he just thrusted my foot in his mouth. Okay...moment spoiled. I was like wtf??? He told me he had been wanting to do that for such a long time. He then explains to me that he loves women's feet. I didn't have to ask any questions because once he started he ran the whole scenario down for me. I told him that I wish he would have just told me. He asked if he could buy me some shoes. I'm certain I gave him the stupid face. Can you buy me some shoes??? Ummm...hell yeah...size 6 please...thank you =) I always wore sneakers with him and he wanted me in strappy heels and peep toe pumps. And that's what he bought me. I was loving this. And since his secrets were out, he started painting my toenails too. I had my very own personal pedicurist and foot stylist at my beck and call. Damn, where is he now??? I could use a good foot stylist these days...

Adventure...It's The Spice Of Life

I think 2009 is going to be an adventure for me. It's about damn time. I've been living a depressing, boring, and unfulfilled existence up until the last 4 months. I'm ready too. I'm trying some new things out right now. I'm not ready to share what I'm doing just yet, but maybe by November or December I can share.

All is calm over here in my neck of the woods this weekend...still haven't heard from Dr. FGN, so yes, he is fired for sure. I feel bad about that too because of the friendship that we had long ago. But if he is gonna act like a bitch-made man, I truly can't deal with that. That's not the kind of adventure I'm looking for right now. I can't coddle him and his ego.

I haven't heard from C&D and I consider that a true blessing from God. I think my cousin may have sent word back that he should stop trying to be my boyfriend. I think some other information got out too...he probably wants to kick my ass...but he knows I have the police on my side so he better fall back. I still have something at his house that I need to get back though...it has sentimental value. So eventually I am gonna have to contact him for that. DAMN DAMN DAMN...

I plan to travel more. That will definitely spice up my life. I just gotta find someone to travel with. I'm beginning to tire of traveling alone. It's fun, but I'm reaching a different point in my life. I want shared adventures. I actually wanna learn some new things. I think I will be a student for life. I just love learning new things. But I'm looking for a teacher...anybody wanna be my full time teacher?