Hey, I Know Her!

Well, well, well my friends, here is a moment of glory. One to add to the Book of Embarrassing Things. The tale of two men sleeping with the same woman (none of us had any idea).

Man #1 I will call The Singer. I met him in grad school. We had a couple of classes together and ended up doing a project for a class together. We were both single and the attraction was clearly there. So upon completion of the project, he told me that I should cook him a celebratory breakfast. Yeah right he's coming over one morning for breakfast is what I thought. So I decided to play along and asked him what would he like and when should I expect him. He said Friday night. "Friday night! You want breakfast for dinner?" I asked him. He said no, but that he was coming over Friday night and would stay for breakfast the next morning. Alrighty then, let me get the Victoria's Secret ready...bring it on big boy, bring it on! And so he did...

We continued to have sex for a couple of months, but I knew he was a player and that I couldn't get my feelings involved. He also is a singer and he would sing to me (damnit...nothing like a fine ass man singing to you face to face). We had talked about me singing back up on a couple of his songs, but that never panned out. We had fun, but since I knew I couldn't get serious with him I was also dating other guys.

Another guy I was dating at the same time was a friend of a friend. He knows that I love men and from time to time will introduce me to one of his buddies. I'm gonna write about him later, because he has this theory about me and men...anyway, I digress....This guy was tall, dark, and handsome. He talks really loud though, kinda frighteningly loud. I'm gonna call him Ruido. He was educated and he was a frat boy...in a frat that I have some affiliation with so that was all the better. We had that in common and we liked to eat and enjoy each others company. We would kiss all the time (he's in my top 10 of greatest kissers). I believe we only had sex 2 or 3 times. But I enjoyed the intimacy I had with him.

During this time I was still seeing The Singer also. But what I had forgotten was that The Singer and Ruido were in the same fraternity. But they wouldn't know each other would they??? It was my lucky day folks...they knew each other and quite well. My friend who had introduced me to Ruido called me and started asking questions. He asked if I knew The Singer and I told him yes. He told me to sit down. I knew something was wrong because he never gets serious with me. He tells me that Ruido and The Singer are good friends. And that they had been discussing me to one another, only they didn't realize it was the same woman...HOLY SHIT BATMAN!!!

I thought I was off the hook until my friend kept talking. I started to feel sick. He said they had mentioned me to one another at some point, but that recently they were going somewhere together and they were in my neighborhood. One of them said something about me living in that area, and the other said he was hanging out with a girl that lived over there too. So as luck would have it, they passed my house and both of them said "she lives right there". Damnit to hell...my friend thought this shit was really funny. NOT FUNNY MOFO! So he just wanted to give me a heads up...gee, thanks a million...

I got off the phone, with him and started thinking...how can I fix this? Damn, what can I do...I didn't know....argh!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't lose the man that would sing to me and come see me at a moments notice. But I didn't want to lose the intimacy that I had with Ruido either. Decisions, decisions, decisions....So I did what any self-respecting woman would do and I called them both. I would make my decision according to how they reacted at the news of sleeping with the same woman. Ruido was not happy about it. I felt bad, but explained that I didn't know they knew each other and the we didn't have anything exclusive. The Singer, laughed about it said it was no big deal AND in the same breath asked when could he come over....***ding ding ding ding, I'll take The Singer for $1,000 Alex***

I still remain friends with Ruido and see him from time to time, but as friends. I hadn't seen The Singer in years. Last year I show up at a function at Ruido's house and in walks The Singer. Years later it was uncomfortable. I hadn't thought about sex with Ruido in such a long time and since we were still friends I guess it didn't matter about what happened. But The Singer and I just faded apart, like he had fallen off the face of the earth. So I was rattled when I saw him still looking so fine and then I started thinking about the sex. Damn...but not in Ruido's house, that's just too scandalous GP...nothing happened. We just exchanged some sexy banter, and went our separate ways that evening.