Does Size Matter?

It's that age old question that just won't go away...does size matter? Just so there is no mistake, I am talking about penis size. I guess every girl wants a size that fits her and is comfortable. But unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way. I guess it's kinda like the men that want the skinny bitches. Some girls just like to eat, so they come with a little more cushion for the pushing. Some of my friends/acquaintances are "size queens". They are not satisfied with anything under 7 inches in length and require girth too. I am not a size queen, but you do have to be working with something. And if you're not blessed in that particular region, then you better have over the top cunnilingus skills and know how to work what you have. Sometimes I feel like Goldilocks working my way from bed to bed seeing which penis is the right fit. oh dear, that one is much too small and soft. OH DEAR, that one is much too large and stiff (ouch!). I'm looking for the one that is Just Right with a little softness for flexibility and a little stiffness for the long haul. I have been through the good, the bad, and the ugly of the penis search.

I don't know if I should start with the tiniest or the most humongous penis I've ever encountered. The tiniest is funnier so let's start there...lol. There was a guy I met, and since telling this story to friends, he is and will always be referred to as "teeny peeny". Thank goodness I haven't met anymore of his kind. I was so embarrassed for him. We were making out (do people still call it that???) and then clothes began to come off. He was a pretty good kisser so that kept me occupied for the moment. But of course I had to check out the goods...see what he was working with. So my hand brushed over his penis and I thought, "hmmm, he must need a little more time...", so we continued to kiss and remove more clothes. Finally we're down to no clothes and it was time for action. As a cautious woman I usually initiate and sometimes put the condom on for a man. But he was being a little weird and wouldn't let me put it on. So I thought that he still must not be ready, so I wanted to see if there was anything I could do...hehehe...to help him along. He stopped me and told me that he was about the put the condom on just give him a second. I complied. But I always check before insertion to make sure the condom is on properly. I got the biggest fright of my life when I grabbed his penis and felt the condom loosely on there. I thought that he wasn't hard enough so I told him that maybe he should wait to put the condom on until he is hard....WHAT DID I SAY THAT FOR? He looked at me, I will never forget this as long as I live, and said "I am hard!!!" I wish somebody could have taken a picture of my face. I know it would have been classic. Right after he uttered those words, they kept ringing in my ears. I was stunned. At first, I couldn't move. I didn't want to move. I was embarrassed for him and I felt bad for saying what I said. I didn't know. I felt even worse, and he did too, when I grabbed his penis and it was ROCK hard but only the size of one of those mini pencils you use while golfing or at IKEA. Have you ever seen those latex fingertip protectors? Ummm yeah, that's actually what he should have been using instead of a condom. Needless to say, I spoiled that moment and we never had sex. I wonder if he's married now? Poor girl =(

Now the largest penis I have ever seen and encountered is from a man I will call Suave. He is just that too. Everything about him is just as smooth. He's a businessman that I met many years ago. Whenever I visit his town or he visits mine, we always hook up. The last time we rendezvoused was about two years ago. The experience was like something out of a soap opera, very romantic...there were candles and it was raining...I digress...sorry. The size of his penis, I call it a dick, is unimaginatively huge. I found out that he had a monster trapped in his trousers. I swear to you that when we were about to sleep together for the first time and he took off his pants, I thought he had a dildo in his underwear. I was thinking this mofo is crazy, he brought toys and packed them in his underwear. Then when he pulled me close, of course curiosity took hold of me and I had to touch it. I think he must work with the circus as a sideshow freak or something. When he took his underwear off, I remember just looking at it in amazement. I do remember that I was completely horrified at the thought of something that huge entering me. But we made it through. He was super gentle and very patient. And from that point on every time we meet up, I always have to mentally prepare myself for that King Kong Dong of his. To give you an idea of what he is working with think 11 inches in length and about 3 1/2 to 4 inches in girth. Yeah, I always have to sit in Epsom salt for about a week after fooling with him.

Penises are awfully ugly. I know this has nothing to do with size, but while I'm talking about them, might as well give a shout out to the uglies and the not so uglies. The ugliest are those uncircumcised creatures. I have only seen 2, and that is enough to last a lifetime. Thanks, but no thanks! Let me stop thinking about that because I might have nightmares about it. Moving right along....But there has been an occasion or two where I found myself in the presence of a masterpiece. There's one that belongs to a man that I will post about later. His penis was a thing of beauty. It was one color, not multicolored like most. It was smooth, perfectly shaped and a good size. I could look at it all day. And I used to. He thought I was crazy because I would just grab it and pull it out of his pants and play with it.

So, does size matter? Hell yes it does! No more microscopic penises please. I just can't take it. I want it when I want it and if you don't have "it", then kick rocks (leave me alone). On the other hand, a gigantic dick is a bit much too. Maybe if I had pushed a baby out of my cooter, it would be equipped to handle all of that. But since I haven't, I'm a little afraid of the larger penised men (is that a word??? lmao...) But we all know who's dick I really want right now...Goldilocks has found her perfect fit, not too small or too large, it's Just Right BUT just not hers (sighs)...