Couch Talk

I will be having "Couch Talk" from time to time. This is when I am going to post something that I feel warrants some professional counseling. There have been times (NOTE: I don't do this dumb shit anymore) that I have done some things that were completely unsafe, irrational, and just plain stupid. By the grace of God, nothing bad has happened to me. I get caught up in the moment and go with the flow and sometimes things just happen. I must say in my own defense, that my intuition is ALWAYS on point and there have been many times that I passed on some opportunities for "fun" because my intuition lead me away from it. With that said, I will share something that I did during a business trip...

So I was with some co-workers after a long day of conferencing. At the particular hotel we were staying at there also happened to be some other conferences being held and this meant men from different fields of work. A group of young men came over and started talking to our group. I think they were techs or something (something geeky). Any who...we were at the bar (one of my favorite places at a hotel...lol) getting all liquored up. They bought us some drinks and...well you know how that story goes. The one that was talking to me wasn't particularly cute, but he was okay. The more I drank, the cuter he become I guess. He was whispering shit in my ear but I didn't want my co-workers to know that I was thinking of taking him to my room. Yes, I had my own room because the girl that was to room with me backed on family business at the last minute. Lucky me...

We ended up in my room...when I think about this I still can't believe I did it...what a dumbass. So we get in the room and we're kissing and then he goes straight for the panties. The next thing I know he's face down in my crotch...and doing a damn good job if I might add. This dude was good...not the best, but for that night, yeah he was damned good. So he finishes (or should I say I finish...hehehehe) and he looks at me like its time for me to return the favor. Yeah, that's not gonna happen I start to think. I tell him that I have a really early morning and a presentation. I get up and start walking towards the door. He looked very confused and then a little annoyed. I was relieved to see that look instead of rage or worse. He didn't want to leave, but by this point I had already opened the door and was standing almost outside the door just in case he tried anything funny, I could run my stupid ass down the hall. He left with no incident. Whew...just thinking of what could have happened...really scares me now.

This particular incident happened when I was going through a stage where the men in my life had done me so wrong. I went on a "fucking spree". I was calling some of my exes for sex and then I wouldn't talk to them anymore. I wouldn't return phone calls or anything. I don't know where this behavior came from. But it made me feel empowered in a strange kinda way because when I used to date them, they treated me bad. But I guess since some time had passed and I initiated the booty calls, I guess they thought it was on again. NOT...I just wanted to fuck 'em one more time and then tell 'em to fuck off by kicking 'em out when the sex was over and then not talking to 'em anymore. I definitely needed some "couch talk"...

SIDEBAR: I ran into one of these exes this summer. I hadn't seen him in years. He followed me until I decided to pull over and talk to him. Poor thing was STILL confused as to why I hadn't returned any of his emails or phone calls after that one night. I didn't have the heart to tell him he was just a casualty in my silly little love/hate sex game. But he was on that list of men who did me wrong...so I guess he still doesn't deserve an explanation...