What Does It All Boil Down To?

You know I've been thinking that I've become soft in my old age. I used to have the men knocking my door down, ringing my phone off the hook, and keeping my schedule tied up for weeks at a time. But as I sit back and ponder what am I doing differently, I have found that I am way nicer now than I used to be. In my 20's I didn't give a damn. I used to treat the men really bad, and they would always come back for more. I have no idea what that was about, but if I liked a guy I would treat him bad and he was always right there for more punishment. Now, I am more concerned with how people perceive me (professionally) and I really don't have the energy to pull off the "bitch" routine anymore.

I was on a relationship chat this afternoon and it was more clear to me, that yes, I have matured (thank God) and that a lot of what I want has to do with respect. I have to be respected by the men I choose to deal with. I had a lot more patience back then, but now my tolerance for bullshit is extremely low. Back in the day, the only thing they respected was my pussy. And back then, that was okay with me because it was a mutual thing...respect for sexual skills. Now that I realize that I can have fulfilling sex but no meaningful relationship, I'm not sure I want to travel this road anymore. (Don't worry, I still have a boatload of stories to share for the blog and who knows, I might fall off the nice girl wagon and romp a bit more...lmao)

That shit with Dr. FGN was great don't get me wrong, but after careful thought, I realized that I was more upset because of the friendship that we had shared before we had had sex. Then when I found out he had a girlfriend...mofo...that just did it. He disrespected her and me. I wont label all men, but I will say that "people" will do what you let them get away with. So, I guess what I'm leading to is that we should all want to be respected, whether young or old, single or married, man or woman. I know some of the best relationships that I have been in are the ones where we had a mutual respect for one another. Those were the "boring" relationships that probably wont see the light of day on this blog, but they were great nonetheless.

I believe that when there is a mutual respect for each other, you can feel more at ease giving of yourself mentally, spiritually, and physically. When there is respect you know that the other person holds you in high esteem and should be considerate of you. As you get older, what is it that you desire most in a relationship? I'm curious...please share.

SIDEBAR: I'm sure I can muster up some "bitch", and I was actually thinking about doing an experiment to test the theory...I don't know, I'll keep you posted... =)