Just Don't Comb Her Hair...

Today I went to a birthday party with my little cousin. It was held at a place were you can make a doll that looks like you. You can pick out clothes, get their hair coiffed, and even buy accessories for your doll. As soon as I walked in I was immediately wishing I was a little girl again. This place was super cool. I also wish that I had thought of the idea for this place because at $100 a pop for a doll (just the doll, nothing else), I'd be sitting pretty right about now.

After the party we walked around this doll haven and helped my little cousin pick out her doll. Oh what fun!!! I was almost as excited as she was. Naturally, we had to pick an outfit for the new baby doll, and as we passed by the 'Doll Beauty Salon', my little cousin wanted to get a new hairdo for her new doll. This is when I start thinking, "This shit is outta control, a hairstyle for the doll at $20???'. The doll gets strapped into the salon chair, a cape is placed around her neck, and the stylist proceeds to ask my little cousin how she wanted the doll's hair styled. She tells her and the stylist wets the hair and begins to style away. Fascinated, we watch her and listen to her as she tells my little cousin not to comb the dolls hair. This of course goes right over the head of my little cousin. I mean come on, besides dressing your doll in fancy clothes the next best thing is combing their hair.

The stylist mentioned one more time not to comb the hair and I was wondering why she said that again. So I figure that it must be important and I decided to ask her what will happen if we comb the hair. She said that if you comb the hair it will get frizzy and you wont be able to get the curls to come back. This is a $100 doll and you mean to tell me the hair can't be combed??? So I looked at my little cousin and asked her if she understood that she can't comb her baby's hair. Just like any cute little girl under the age of 7 would do, she looked at me like I was crazy, but then said yes. I chuckled because I'm sure she was thinking the same thing I was. Because this doll costs so much I asked (in a quiet voice) "What happens if she combs the hair? Can we bring the doll back here and you can work your hairstylist magic?" Are you sitting down? Are you ready for her answer? Are you sure?

The stylist looks at me and in a not-so-quiet voice she says, "No, you would take the doll to the 'Doll Hospital' and they would give her a new head". WTF!!!!!! A doll hospital? Replace the head? Are you kidding me? No, she wasn't. She was very serious. But even more serious than the stylist and funny as hell, was my little cousin. She heard the part about giving her doll a new head and she turned and looked at me with terror in her eyes, "What did she say? She's gonna take my baby's head off??? She's not sick, she doesn't need to go to the hospital!!!" OMG, I thought I would fall on the floor and pee my pants! I grabbed my little cousin and hugged her, reassuring her that her baby was fine and that we were talking about something else.

I'm having second thoughts about buying one of these dolls now. I, like my little cousin, would want to comb my doll's hair. When I think back to my childhood, I was pretty rough on my dolls. They suffered dismemberment (at the hands of my brother), underwater submersion, fashion disasters, and most of all countless bad hair days. Perhaps I will spend that $100 on a couple of pairs of sneakers...

25 Secrets, Fears, and Thoughts

I got this idea from one of my sisters-in-blog (what's up BB!!!). These things are in random order and something that I can share here, but would never verbalize to anyone...here goes...

*I hate my career, but it is a necessary evil

*I would LOVE to punch the shit out of my boss (right in the face)

*I saw my dad take his last breath and I think about it everyday, it really messes with my head (I miss him SO much)

*I'm afraid that I will never find someone who will love me or that I will not have a child...I don't want to die alone
*There are 4 married men that I would sleep with if I had the chance (Note to Family & Friends: These are NOT any of your men)
*I am terrified of lightning and thunder, fireworks, and balloons (yes, balloons!)
*I love to walk around the house naked
*I am learning to be selfish, do what matters to me. Seems everybody else knows how to do this well
*I'm thinking of leaving the U.S. and moving to Europe
*I sometimes pretend I only have a high school education when getting to know some men
*I am addicted to lipgloss
*I fantasize about sex while in church (please forgive me God)
*I want to cause bodily harm to my noisy neighbor
*I had a threesome (me and two guys)
*I am afraid of success
*I wish I could get along with my mother, or that she could understand me and not judge me
*I'm a jeans/t-shirt and no make up girl, but I secretly love to get dressed up and stun people
*When flying, I ALWAYS fear that the airplane will crash in the water during take off
* I love the water, but have a fear of drowning
* I feel empowered when I use men for sex and then don't call or see them again
* I am uncomfortable accepting gifts from men because I always think they want something from me in return
*The men that I fall in love with don't love me back, so I'm thinking of abandoning the whole idea of falling in love
*I hate when people come into my personal space...the invisible box people, stay outside the perimeters of the invisible box!
*Sometimes I wish I had pursued my dreams of a career in politics because with some of the dirt I've done, I certainly would have been involved in some scandal with a man which would have made me one rich, scandalous ass bitch!
*I enjoy vodka WAY too much...I have issues, I'm working through them...with the help of Effen

Paging Dr. FGN, House Call to Erotic City

Oh my goodness, Dr. Feelgoodnight is away for the holiday weekend and I don't know what to do with myself. LMAO, it's not like I had plans to see him anyway, but the fact that he is out of town means I couldn't see him if I wanted to. Right now I'm playing the role of "silent and subtle" because if I let him know that I am kinda digging him he will run and never come back. Men...go figure.

The story behind Dr. FGN is that we have known each other since we were in junior high. (Sidebar: What the hell is going on with all the men from my past making appearances now?) I used to date his best friend. Since they were best friends, they were always together. So that meant Dr. FGN was always around when I was with my boyfriend. They were both gorgeous back in the day so I really didn't mind either of them being in my presence - a double treat for the eyes...yummy. But soon Dr. FGN moved away. We kept in contact via snail mail and a few phone calls for a short while, but it was nothing serious. In my mind that would just be scandalous to like my boyfriend's best friend (even though I did). I guess this was the beginning of my boy/man craziness.

My ex/his best friend was killed some years ago. Even though we were no longer together, I was still very upset at the news. Dr. FGN was still living in another city and I had no way to get in contact with him. Now let's bring it to 2008...I found Dr. FGN's sibling on a popular website and was asking how he was and all that. I was told that he was fine and that he was on the same website too. "Oh shit!", I thought to myself and feverishly began searching the site for him, found him and left him a message. Eight or so months later, he responded to my message. I damn near dropped my PDA when the email came through, I know you could see every tooth in my mouth. Soon we started exchanging emails, then phone calls, AND then photos. When I tell you this mofo is still fine as shit I really mean it. Not wanting to appear desperate, I used my feminine wiles to get him in my presence. I have only told one other person about Dr. FGN (and she knows who she is...lol) because as previously stated the people that care about me want me to be in a 'loving' relationship. Right now, all I want is a 'sexing' relationship, so I have to keep him a secret. Oooh, a dirty little secret...

Dr. FGN is the man my mother warned me about. I guess at some point in every woman's life she meets a man who makes her see stars, feel the earth move, and loose all sensibilities. I had never had all of this happen to me. Sure, there have been some earth moving, scream my name kind of sessions. But nothing like this. I have met my match. I was (and am still partly) speechless. I wanted to call my mama...literally, and tell her that that man was here and that she was right. But of course I couldn't do that because every chance I get I remind her that I am still a virgin (rotflmao).

Now most of what this man does is sensual. When he kissed me, I knew I was in trouble. Most guys will do just enough to get you going and that's it. He paid attention to every detail of my body, I mean every detail. He made the experience ALL ABOUT ME. And what's more appealing to a Gemini woman than to be center stage and have the spotlight on her...nothing. All night long he was working his magic. And just when I thought it was time to take a breather or even a nap, there he was again. I thought I was insatiable, but damnit, he's the true meaning of the word. He is NO JOKE. At some point we did drift off, but very gently as the sun began to rise, so did he. I was like, "wait just a damn minute here!". But I quickly got over it when he began ever so softly kissing me and lifted me up to ravish me once again. Oh damn, I need a cold shower right now, just thinking about it again.

Since that time we have been on the phone and emailing. He tells me how much he enjoyed himself and that he can't wait to come and do all of that, and more, to me again. Every time I talk to him I wanna tell him to bring his ass over pronto, but I'm gonna go at his pace because I surely want him to stick around and not tire of me. Shit, women are saying a good man is hard to find, well I say a hard man is good to find. I'm gonna put the quest for a good man on hold and work with this hard man for right now. My ego was a little bruised though because I didn't get to show off my skills. But the more I think about it, how often does a girl get to have a man do her and him not expect anything in return? Not very often, in fact, its highly unlikely. I wanted to at least cook him breakfast or something, but he wanted ME for breakfast...no problem Dr. FGN, two eggs, sunny side up, with a side of ham, cumming right up... =)

Book 'em Dano!!!

Let's all hope that no one has to use these handcuffs on Crazed and Dazed...so the history behind this "love story" is that people are always trying to hook me up with someone (set up dates) because I'm single and I guess they feel like I need a man...whatever. So this started out like any other family event when my cousin introduces me to this guy (C&D). He was cool, and come to find out we had met each other a long time ago. We talked and exchanged phone numbers. We talked on the phone and went out a couple of times. I was okay with that because I wasn't really looking to make him my boyfriend just yet. Deep inside I had this strange feeling about him. LADIES: ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS LISTEN TO THAT LITTLE VOICE ON THE INSIDE...(your intuition) This feeling was so strong that I wasn't even intimate with him (no sex and barely kissed him).

As time progressed I could see that he was getting a little more serious about me than I was about him (uh oh) so I decided that I needed to say something because in the end I don't want to be accused of leading someone on. Well he didn't want to hear what I had to say because he was "going to make me love him" (oh shit!) So I reiterated that we were just friends getting to know one another and should take it slow. Time went on and our dates turned into sitting at his house watching what he wanted to watch on television and then him falling asleep with thunderous roars immediately following (snoring). I began to feel a bit trapped and decided not to visit as often. He didn't like that, oh no, he really didn't. If you know anything about a Gemini, you have to let us have our freedom and you MUST keep our attention, otherwise we are out the door. So out the door I went ***slamming it and tossing my hair back***

Yeah so, he didn't understand what happened. Again, we had a nice little discussion. I don't like to hurt anyone and I really try to be as diplomatic as possible. But when you see that someone is not really understanding or doesn't want to understand, you have to resort to stronger measures. So I told him in no uncertain terms that we are going to have to be friends and nothing more. I explained that he was a bit more controlling than I like and that he had some things that he needed to get in order before I could consider being in a relationship with him. He seemed to understand that and I thought we had an understanding, but I guess that was wishful thinking on my part.

Like I had mentioned in a previous post, he began to send email, snail mail, and then call saying crazy stuff. Wednesday he called and was living up to every bit of his name, Crazed and Dazed. He was saying how he just didn't understand what happened. I was thinking, what, is he deaf or slow, didn't we have a couple of conversations? Then he made me feel like the man in the 'relationship' by asking, "don't you love me?!?". I'm sure my mouth flew open and I lost all train of thought...what was that he just asked me??? I said nothing. So of course, he asked again. To hell with diplomacy I thought and blurted, "No, I don't love you!" He got really upset and started talking but I couldn't understand what he was saying. He sounded very disturbed. I have to admit, I was a little frightened.

I have several friends and exes that are in law enforcement. I made a couple of calls to them after this incident. I told them the situation has been changed from yellow (elevated) to orange (high). They are on alert and ready to come to my aid...Thank God...

Crazy Days...Indeed

I'm so full of emotion because of various events over that past couple of days. First, I am just blown away and full of pride at the nomination of Barack Obama for president of the US. I don't really want this blog to turn into a place for political debates (oh because I can do that very well too), but I haven't posted because I have been flooded with calls and texts regarding the DNC and its events. Perhaps when things settle down a bit I will do a couple of postings about the candidates for presidency. I'm still digesting the McCain/Palin ticket...more to come....

Back to me...the Delirious Gemini...yes that's been me lately. Boy oh boy, I tell ya the total difference between the two men I described the other day. I said I would give them names and I thought of a couple (laughing hysterically to myself). So the pretty man will be referred to as Dr. Feelgoodnight. Sometimes I may abbreviate because that's a little long but quite fitting for him. As I was listening to Prince, the song Mr. Goodnight came on and I was like "ah ha". But I wanted something more and thought of the Aretha Franklin song Dr. Feelgood, so I decided to combine the two, hence the name.

Now the crazed and dazed dude...man, I kinda like that name for him so I'm gonna keep that one for now, sometimes abbreviating to C&D, I will do a separate post about him...crazy bastard.

Next I wanna give a shout out to one of my bestest friends who has made some suggestions and helps me with "all things crazy" in my life. I don't know how, because she's a crazy ass Gemini too...but they say crazy recognizes crazy....hmmmm. She didn't like the name of the blog so she made some recommendations and I did a little tweaking and there you have it...lol. But remember that it is a woman's prerogative to change her mind...You may come on here one day and the name of the blog will be Windsurfing with Granny Goose or How Many Lumps of Sugar Do You Take?....stranger things have happened.

Ready to Rock n' Roll

Wooooooo....okay I'm all hyped up on coffee so this entry might be all over the place and a little long. Unlike last night, I'm ready to write. I'm well rested and have a lot on my mind. I'm sitting here listening to my favorite person in the world - Prince -reminiscing on some of the things I've done to his music and wanting to write about each and every episode (that would take a lifetime though). I wanna put some of his pics and music on here, but I would be pissed to no end if I came here and my damn blog is shut down because Alexander Nevermind found out I had him on here...we'll see...oooh he's so damn pretty, I just love his stankin ass!!! There will be lots of references to The Purple One (songs, movies, his prettiness, etc.) so please no hating...thank you =)

And speaking of pretty, Oh my God...there's this pretty man who just rocked my world this weekend. Got me stuck on stupid, pushing the rewind button (and the pause button too) in my mind on the shit he did to me....I'm getting flustered just thinking about it now. He most definitely deserves his own space in this blog. I'm gonna think of a name for him and then I will give some background info and a peek into what happened this weekend. Moving right along....

So last night I mentioned that there was some drama for the past couple of days. Has nothing to do with the aforementioned pretty man. This is another dude that I was actually dating and then after careful consideration I changed my mind. Hell, its a woman's prerogative to change her mind at any given time...deal with it!!! Well apparently he's not dealing with it well, and he's trying to make me feel guilty. I don't take kindly to people trying to make me feel guilty about stuff, I get enough of that from my mom. What's the point of dating? I thought it was to spend time and get to know a person. If BOTH people agree that they like what they see in each other then a relationship could possibly blossom. Well like I said after careful observation and questioning, I decided it probably wouldn't be a good idea to continue to pursue anything romantic with this dude. What did I do that for? I got a long email that wasn't so nice (I hate cyber banging!!!!) and then another email and a letter in snail mail, phone calls...hmmmm...wtf??? And I never gave him any lovin, what would have happened if I had??? I'm not bragging, I'm just saying....

I gotta come up with a name for this dude too, because I have a feeling he might make it into this blog again. I guess I'm gonna have to talk to him again. We talked and I thought we were clear on what our status was -friends- but looks like he needs a "friendly reminder". Damn these things called relationships, too confusing. I need some more of pretty man...oh wait, don't wanna talk about him in this paragraph with crazed and dazed dude...not a good look...

I'm gonna be back here soon, so please leave a comment or a shout out (those of you who know me personally, I'm GP on here OKAY...). Let me know what you think...until next time...

After all that....

I was so excited to get this page set up and now I'm too tired to write a decent first post. There has been some foolishness going on the past couple of days and I'm completely drained from that. Oh, but you better believe that they will be discussed at some point in this blog =)

Well I'm off to bed now...until next time...